Simon the snail

I'm currently in the year 2015 and am in the prem with Stoke city. We came up against a difficult Chelsea side knowing that if we wanted European competition next season we would have to get some sort of result from this.

Little did I expect this:
a surprise victory!

If anyone is intersted I shall continue with this story, updating it from 2005-2006 to this victory and beyond.

BobBev

Please do Simon.

Simon the snail

Season Summary - 05/06

The season began with a shock appointment at League one side Bristol city. The Chairman Steve Lansdown stating 'he is the best man for the job and I am confident he will lead this club in the right direction' Public opinion was that this was a cost cutting measure. The fans were not best pleased...

However the early signing of left wing veteran Francisco Javier de Pedro on a free transfer and a 3-1 friendly victory over Parma gave light to some optimism within the fanbase, causing a number of fans to call in to local phone ins stating the reasons why this will be their year. However this happens every year, and seeing the club has been stuck in league one for what seems an eternity, most neutrals doubt these 'positive reasons'.

And they were right. With defeat in the FA cup 1st round and league cup 3rd round and a very average performance in the league, the only reason the manager kept his job was due to a good run and eventual victory in the LDV vans trophy.

Fans were ever optimistic at the end of the season though, as 2 January signings - namely DR of Congo international pair Mazuwa N'Sumbu and Jean Paul Kielo Lezi (DM and SC) and the loan signing of young Man U centre back Pique lifted the clubs second half performances - providing that essential pace up front and solid defence that all good clubs needed.

Steve Lansdown had this to say in his end of season report:
'...finances are in better shape than ever, this a new era within the football club as we rebuild for next year. Although the manager hasn't had the greatest of starts this year we are very happy with the recent success in the LDV vans trophy and have full confidence in his continual success next year'

Needless to say the Bristol city manager is one of the favourites for an early season sacking next year.

Simon the snail

I best just say here that any references to real life people in this story is entirely fictional and is only correct in the context of this story.

05-06 league position
pos 12 W18 D12 L16 F59 A49 pts66

06/07 season summary

Excitement amongst fans grows to a fever pitch when in a pre season press conference the Bristol city manager has this to say:

'I feel that the main reason for our failure in the league last year was the lack of goals we scored. I intend to bring in a few new signings this year and this shall begin with the bosman transfer of Neil Mellor to Ashton Gate from Liverpool'

Mellor had this to say about the matter: 'this is a great club and I am honoured to be here. I think we've got a great chance and with a manger of this experience leading us we can't go wrong' Right...which manager would that be Neil?

He was quickly followed through the rusted iron Ashton gates by Hungarian striker Robert Feczesin, a returning Pique (on loan) and promising goalkeeper Martin Fulop - on loan from Tottenham.

Come the first game of the season, bristol citys odds had risen from expected mid table obscurity to having a definite chance for the playoffs.

After the first game, a 7-0 thrashing of Brentford, a top 6 finish was almost guaranteed...according to the bookies.

In the cups bristol city performed much better this year, losing 2-1 to Premiership side Middlesborough in the league cup 3rd round and 2-0 to Man U (without Pique to due a clause in the loan contract) in the FA cup 4th round.

City were well clear at the top of the table and in the final of the LDV vans trophy - which they lost 3-2 to Tranmere where the City players lost their heads in the second half and threw away a 2-0 lead. The press boys were predicting a turn for the worse for the rest of the season. To everyones surprise (even the City fans') the team continued with their good form and at the end of the season every one was singing their praises...except the keeper of the Football league records:

'we have had to expend a vast amount of our budget on neww scriptures for the coca cola league one. all because some manager of Bristol city thinks he can break the points record, goals record, biggest win record, most games won in a row, most games without losing, top goalscorer, most assists, most man of the match and highest average rating record? and I suppose he expects us to enter him in the manager of the season books as well? Pah!'

the number of games won in a row was in fact 11 which were actually part of their 32 games unbeaten record.

Here is what Steve Lansdown had to say in his end of season report:
'...finances are in better shape than ever, this a new era within the football club as we rebuild for next year. The manager had the greatest of starts this year and we are very happy with the recent success in the league and have full confidence in his continual success next year' claims that his report was nothing but a cut and paste of the previous years one were quashed by lansdowne's security . The man himself was on a cruise somewhere in the mediterranean so wasn't available for comment.

pos 1 W36 D7 L3 F108 A29 GD +79 pts 115

Neil Mellor 47 games 39 goals 23 assists 22 MoM 7.90 average rating

Simon the snail

Season Summary 07/08

Being in unknown teritory has left the BC fans strangely (and ominously) silent this pre season. No one could quite believe the dominance displayed by Neil Mellor and the rest of the team in league one last year and despite being one of the favourites for relegation the fans seem to be quietly confident.

Indeed a newly appointed member of the BC board had this to say about the upcoming season:
'we are very proud with the position this football club is in and will strive to improve it even further. The manager has been provided with generous funds for players and wages and we remain confident he can continue to guide this club forwards and upwards'

The manager shows off the vast amounts of cash at his disposal by signing 7 players in the pre season, all for a cumulative £0...

The fans see the return of confident keeper Fulop - this time not as a loanee. Atletico Madrid pair Marcelo Sosa (DMC) and Kiki Musampa (AML) will push lopez and N'sumbu onto the bench at Ashton Gate. The defence is also strengthened with the captures of right back lionel Scaloni, and centre backs Pieter Collen from Feyenoord and Titus Bramble.

The season starts off well with sell out crowds and 3-1, 4-2 and 4-1 victories over Ipswich, Preston and rivals Swindon.

In the cups, Bristol city come up against strong premiership opposition in the early rounds - losing 3-1 to Leeds in the 2nd round of the league cup and crashing out of the FA cup to a far stronger tottenham side 4-1 in the 3rd round.

At the halfway point in the season the robins are in the lofty position of 2nd place so the manager decides to stengthen his teams hold on the automatic promotion spot and spends 650k on James Beattie from everton and 450k for 6 foot 4 DMLC Tim Sparv from Southampton. When unveiling the players in a press conference, the manager had this to say, 'These guys will provide the strength in depth this isde needs to push for honours this season. We can now cope with any injury crisis...and any threat in the air.'

However, a bad run of results in the final games of the season leaves the City on 85 points, 2 out of the automatic promotion spots. the dreaded play offs await!

First up Man City.
An extremely lucky 3-2 victory provides the advantage for city as they go into the second leg in front...

Halfway through the week the Man city boss gets a phone call:
BOSS 'hello?'
DOC 'Hi this is the club doctor here, I'm afraid I've got some bad news.'
BOSS 'tell me'
DOC 'unfortuanetly our keeper has broken his finger in training'
BOSS 'That's no problem, he's got a very able deputy'
DOC 'aaah...he's unable to play as well, slipped disc I'm afraid'
BOSS 'WHAT! Then we'll have to play the young lad...whatisname...'
DOC 'If only we could sir, but unfortuanently our 3rd and 4th choice keepers are also on the injury list, we're down to the young 16 year old from the academy'
BOSS 'Oh no...'
Cue pandemonium in the streets of Bristol as the lads in red roll over the boys of Manchester 4-1, 7-2 on aggregate. Britol city are one game away from the Premiership!

Standing in their way are the Foxes, The mighty Leicester! And so it begins, a tight, scrappy affair, which ends at 2-2 after extra time. And now the anti climax...bristol city win. I can't remember who played or scored, all I know is that we won. Yay.

Strangely this season saw a jaded Neil Mellor, the Championship defenders seemed able to cope with his height and strength and he finished the season with a mediocre 12 goals.

The star of the season was last years christmas signing, Lars Iver Strand (AMC), playing 49 games, scoring 26 goals, with 9 assists and 10 MOM's, ending with an average rating of 7.31.

League position:
pos3 pld46 W24 D13 L9 F85 A53 pts 85

Steve Lansdown was unavailable for comment as he was attending a board of directors karaoke party and all that could be heard was tuneless chants of 'Money,Money,Money...'

Simon the snail

Season 08/09 - summary

Succesive Promotions for Bristol city meant they were expected to break at least one record in the premiership this season - least number of points.

Lansdowne, however was overly optimistic, piling the preesure on the manager before the season has even begun, 'We've finally arrived in our rightful place. now we will stay here, I've no doubt about that, and who knows? Maybe we can surprise everyone by playing in europe next season. The manager, whom myself and the board back fully, has a very generous transfer kitty this year and we expect to see many star names walking through these famous gates.'

On the transfer front the manager knows he needs an experienced premiership defence in order to survive, so he pays out 240k on Kiwi ryan Nelsen to partner Titus Bramble at the back. 1.3m is splashed out on impressive young right back Tony Mcmahon from Middlesborough, whose impressive performances last season finished him with an avr of 7.19. Igor Krulj, a young and very promising left back was bought from swedish club Halmstad for 100k and Liverpools young goalkeeper Scott Carson was the second most expensive signing, coming for 1.2m.

The first game of the season was against Manchester united and the city fans and players were eager to find out how they fared up against one of the best teams in the world. A 2-0 loss was quite kind on Bristol city as they saw very little of the ball and united treated the second half as a training session.

In the cups, city beat Newcastle 2-1 in the 3rd round of the league cup, only then to crash out on penalties against northampton in the next round. The FA cup was more fruitful for them, as the fans saw the first cup run for many years. On the way to a 1-0 defeat in the quarter final stage to Man u, city beat both Liverpool and Spurs 1-0 in replays in previous rounds.

The rest of the league season was relatively boring, City easily doing enough to stay clear of relegation, but never threatening the top half. The squad was bolstered in January by the signing of Simao from Spurs for 2.7m - who promptly snapped his ligaments and was out for the rest of the season.

Highlights were 2 wins against Palace (6-0 and 4-2), and 2 wins aginst Blackburn (5-0 and 5-3), whilst the low points were losses against chelsea (5-1), arsenal (7-0!), birmingham (4-1) and Liverpool (4-0).

league position
Pos 12th W10 D12 L16 F55 A63 pts42

The eventual finish was only 5 points off relegation but City were never really in the fight.

If there was any star players that year it would have been Lars Iver Strand again, who bagged 12 goals from midfield and ended the season with an avr of 7.31. Also Jean Paul Kielo Lezi showed some promise (and blistering pace) to score 16 goals and make 10 assists in the clubs first venture into the Premiership.

Chairman Lansdowne was satisfied with the performance, 'We expected better at the start of the season but I suppose looking back we now have a major foothold in the league and can begin to build next year. I am not sure how much cash will be available next season as the manager spent a massive 5.5 million this season - which was more than we anticipated. I think the squad is good enough to survive so we may bring some cost cutting measures in to place before next year.'

Because this season has been a very boring one, here are the winners and runner ups in certain competition over the past 4 years:

Premiership 06 world cup
winners Runners up 1st Germany
2006 Arsenal Tottenham 2nd Brazil
2007 Arsenal Man united 3rd Ghana!
2008 Arsenal Liverpool England lost 1-0
2009 Liverpool Arsenal in 2nd rnd vs
Chile.
Champions League Euro Champs
winners Runners up 1st England 3
2006 Bayern Juventus 2nd Spain 1
2007 Inter Man united
2008 Arsenal Man United
2009 Milan Arsenal

Simon the snail

That table again:
Premiership
_____Winners___Runners Up
2006 Arsenal___Tottenham
2007 Arsenal___Man United
2008 Arsenal___Liverpool
2009 Liverpool_Arsenal

World Cup 06
1st Germany
2nd Brazil
3rd Ghana!
England lost 1-0 to Chile in 2nd round

Champions League
_____Winners___Runners Up
2006 Bayern___Juventus
2007 Inter____Man United
2008 Arsenal__Man United
2009 Milan____Arsenal

Euro Championships 08
Final: England 3-1 Spain

Simon the snail

Season Summary - 09/10

When asked, all managers will agree that this is the hardest season, the one after the first season in the premiership. The team lacks that surprise factor now and they also lack the naivity that comes when you are first promoted. This is why Mr Lansdowne expects great things this year, just back from a pleasure cruise in the carribean he is very upbeat and ambitious: 'we made great leaps last year and are now of course an established premiership side. in my opinion this current squad is good enough to get a top half finish this season but some money is available if the manager thinks to have a crack at Europe. Our full backing is behind him and we expect a fantastic season in the league and cup competitions alike.'

The city manager does indeed spend the money, but possibly with a slightly different objective in mind...

6 foot 4 striker Russel Mwafulirwa is picked up on a free from Blackburn, Alvaro Recoba signs a player coaching role to the delight of fans. 110k is gambled on dmrl Danny Smith from Cardiff and Anthony Grant is brought in for 500k to provide cover to Dm Marcelo Sosa. the majority of the transfer budget is agin spent on improving the defence, Gianni Zuiverloo (DRC) a young Dutch defender is bought from Feyenoord for a whopping 4.7m. The sales of Jara and Bjorn Helge Riise raise 6.5m for the club and the manager goes crazy, splashing out 7m on unproven youngster lebohang Mokoena from Mallorca. When asked about his two record signings in a press conference he said this,
'I feel that less than 5 million for Gianni is an absoloute bargain as I have had my eye on him for more than a season now, and fully believe that he could become an integral part of not only Bristol city, but a very strong Holland squad too. As for Lebohang, he has pace. More pace than I've ever seen. He's young, and still green and we may not see the best of him this season but I do think that he could score a lot of goals for this club in the future.'
With the chairman now keen on European qualification, the manager is under a lot of pressure to succed. The friendlies go as planned, winning all 5 with a cumulative score of 20-3, which included a 6-1 drubbing of Anderlecht. Then, well...collapse. And on the 25th of October 2009, having played 11 games and gaining only 5 points, Bristol City are advertising for a new manager. In a statement released to the press, the chairman had this to say, 'after spending a massive amount of my money at the beginning of the year, and extremely dissapointing performances coming thereafter, I have no choice but to part with our current manager and wish him well in the future.' With Mick Mccarthy hot favourite for the job, the now ex Bristol city manager responded with his version of events, ' I feel extremely hard done by, to be honest. I've brought this club up from league one, given them complete financial security and they get rid of me as soon as things look a bit dodgy. I mean, come on..half the team were injured for crying out loud, we've hardly had enough time to learn each others names, let alone form a cohesive unit. good luck to the next manager, he'll need itso long as certain people are running that club'
The papers predicted a few months of cooling down for that man, before taking on another (premiership) job - possibly Everton or Blackburn they speculate.

two months pass and mcCarthy is starting to get some performances out of his Bristol City team, when, suddenly the papers are full of shock speculation;
'EX CITY MANAGER TALKS WITH STOKE'
'POTTERS GO FOR PREMIERSHIP EXPERIENCE' and in one of the tabloins;
'CHAIRMAN GISLASON ABDUCTS EX CITY MANAGER AND FORCES HIM TO TAKE THE JOB'
Indeed, by hook or by crook, on the 21st of December 20th position Championship side Stoke City appoint themselves a new manager.

He starts off brightly with a 3-1 victory away at Brighton but then enters the transfer window dissapointingly with a 2-0 defeat to Doncaster.
Stoke fans are very interested as to what their media 'friendly' manager is going to do during this important month, but are then distraught when they see a mass clearout!!
2.1m for star striker Sambegou Bangoura was seen as good business for the manager as he then promptly makes another half a million with the sales of first teamers John Quiglet, Peter sweeney, Darel Russel and Dan Harding. After a draw and a defeat in their next two games, the Stoke manager is under pressure to perform in the next game aginst Wolves. The Sky TV cameras pick out a few protesting banners in the crowd before the vital game against Woves. However, the manager is optimistic as in the morning he succesfully completed the signing of not one, not two, but eight players! (one was a loan signing) The most notable of these were Dexter Blackstock, a young striker, loaned from Southampton, Italian Youngster Vicenzo Esposito (free,DM), Christoffer Karlsson, a Swedish AMC, signed from Hibs for 275k, left sided Spanish striker Francisco Javier Lopez from Tenerife for 425k, and a certain Anthony Le Tallec who had run out of contract at Blackburn and was rushing to reach the stadium in time for his debut. Disgruntled fans felt that there would surely be confusion within the team when the match began due to the number of new faces...They were wrong. 4-1 to Stoke was the final score, having completely outplayed Wolves for 90 minutes. The stoke fans were jubilant!
Let us switch our focus now to the FA cup. Having beaten Forest Green 3-0 earlier on in the season, this new look Stoke side now faced a trip to Highbury to face off against the 06,07 and 08 premiership winners in the fourth round. Easy peasy. Full of confidence, this impressive looking Stoke side provided the shock of the season as they not only scored two goals, but kept a clean sheet as well. Suddenly the fans had a new favourite manager!
A 1-1 draw against Aston Villa in the fifth round meant a big replay, which, again Stoke became the giant killers - winning on penalties after a 2-2 draw. However, three Giants proved too much for Stoke as they lost 2-0 to Ipswich in the quarter final. Still, fans were not unhappy - they had not only seen their team compete with, but actually beat the best teams in the land! Naturally, the manager pulls his side out of the relegation zone, finishing in 16th position.

Here is the stats for Stoke before he took charge: W5 D7 L13
and after:W11 D3 L7
Stars of the season were Paul Gallagher whose 15 goals, 6 assists and avr of 7.34 was vital for the club. Also Loanee Dexter Blackstock scored 6 goals in 9 games before a broken leg saw him stretchered all the way back to Southampton. Christoffer Karlsson also showed future promise , finishing with an avr of 7.53.

League Position
pos 16th W16 D10 L20 F66 A67 pts 58

In other news - Mick Mccarthy did indeed save Bristol City, finishing 15th in the end but has made some dodgy signings for next season...
The premiership winners were Russian backed Chelsea followed by London rivals Tottenham.
The 2010 world Cup was also staged this year (it being 2010 and all..) Portugal won, beating England in the final nd Czecg Rep taking the third spot.
The champions league winners were Barcelona, stopping Chelsea from taking home an historic double.

tom q

this is great! well done and good luck with the future seasons

tom q

is there more to come? id love to see what happens