RafaTheGaffer

Benitez is rumoured to be after the likes of Eto'o, Torres , Villa (that's David not Aston) but new owner George Gillet let slip that Benitez is also on the trail of American striker Snodgrass Douglas or 'Snoogy Doogy' as the fans at MLS soccer side "Philadelpia Four Skins" like to call him.

"Our fans know we need a striker," added Benitez. I've seen what Snoogy can do having seen the Four Skins often manage to pull back from an awkward position many a time and save their skins (for want of a better word!). Snoogy likes to catch hold of a winger's long swinging balls and then tuck them snugly away in the box. Snoogy Doogy could really do the business for Liverpool having the same impact as Istvan Kozma when Souness signed him."

"Doogy should have no trouble adapting to the English game he is a mix of of Peter Crouch and Sean Wright Phillips in one. He's sort of short and sort of white . So that makes him Sh.....ite I expect. Doogy also harbours no ambition to play football for Chelsea just like Wright Phillips.

"I have been told by the new owners that they will back my plans. But unfortunately Tom's (Hicks) sons misheard me in our initial meeting and signed Scooby Doo by mistake. If it hadn't have been for those meddling kids !

"If we wait we could miss out on Snoogy who has scored 14 goals in 17 starts for Philadelphia in the MLS. Although all of them came before the kick-off at the pre-match warm up against the mascot in goal."

The 23 year old could also revive the 'Anfield Rap' if his off field antics are anything to go by. The player has often been known to visit local bars in Philadelphia and belt out his 'Four Skin' Rap to anyone who wants to join in. He often gets a helping hand from people in the bar.

Although the deal has not been struck sources tell us that the LFC club shops in Chester and Liverpool have ordered a lot more than the normal quantities of transfers of letters D-O-G-Y for shirts. Draw your own conclusions.