Here's my gang of losers, since my Champions League team are stinking up the joint. Admittedly, I've never heard of several of the players, but we have such little exposure to the players over here that we have to guess at our team (not so much in the CL, but in the UEFA cup)
Howard
Opdam
Pernia
Sagnol (c)
Vidal
Torbinskiy
Micoud
Severin
Misimovic
Anelka
Kiessling
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Jaaskelainen
Zidan
Lincoln
Lescott